you were my brother first

Lyrics

If I could have been a good brother to you
Your life might have been the best you'd ever wished for
All my shouting, hurting all I'd done
Because I was so young or that's what they tell me at least

If I could have been a good brother to you
Your life might have been easier too
All my wrong sacrifices and false morals
Were etched into your heart (fuck I regret it all)
That's what they tell me at least

And maybe I could have done better
Maybe I could have done more
But the pain and tragedies I led you into
Will be carved in my heart 'til the day I go
You were so young but I didn't understand
That you were my brother first

If I could have been a perfect brother to you
This life of ours would have been so colourful
But my words dimmed the world around you
And they turned out the light inside me too

If I could have been a perfect brother to you
You wouldn't be hurting the way you do
My words cut deep into your heart
And your mind I smudged it too (fuck you could've been more)

And I should have done better
I should have known so much more
I would change my past for you
But the reality is shaped already
We were so young, I never knew
I was selfish, fuck

If I could have been a good brother to you
Maybe our world would shine not blue (oooh)
But I carry the weight of what I've done
And I'll carry it until my days are through