you were my brother first

If I could have been a good brother to you

Your life might have been the best you'd ever wished for

All my shouting, hurting all I'd done

Because I was so young or that's what they tell me at least

If I could have been a good brother to you

Your life might have been easier too

All my wrong sacrifices and false morals

Were etched into your heart (fuck I regret it all)

That's what they tell me at least

And maybe I could have done better

Maybe I could have done more

But the pain and tragedies I led you into

Will be carved in my heart 'til the day I go

You were so young but I didn't understand

That you were my brother first

If I could have been a perfect brother to you

This life of ours would have been so colourful

But my words dimmed the world around you

And they turned out the light inside me too

If I could have been a perfect brother to you

You wouldn't be hurting the way you do

My words cut deep into your heart

And your mind I smudged it too (fuck you could've been more)

And I should have done better

I should have known so much more

I would change my past for you

But the reality is shaped already

We were so young, I never knew

I was selfish, fuck

If I could have been a good brother to you

Maybe our world would shine not blue (oooh)

But I carry the weight of what I've done

And I'll carry it until my days are through