you were my brother first

If I could have been a good brother to you Your life might have been the best you'd ever wished for All my shouting, hurting all I'd done Because I was so young or that's what they tell me at least

If I could have been a good brother to you Your life might have been easier too All my wrong sacrifices and false morals Were etched into your heart (fuck I regret it all) That's what they tell me at least

And maybe I could have done better Maybe I could have done more But the pain and tragedies I led you into Will be carved in my heart 'til the day I go You were so young but I didn't understand That you were my brother first

If I could have been a perfect brother to you This life of ours would have been so colourful But my words dimmed the world around you And they turned out the light inside me too

If I could have been a perfect brother to you You wouldn't be hurting the way you do My words cut deep into your heart And your mind I smudged it too (fuck you could've been more)

And I should have done better I should have known so much more I would change my past for you But the reality is shaped already We were so young, I never knew I was selfish, fuck

If I could have been a good brother to you Maybe our world would shine not blue (oooh) But I carry the weight of what I've done And I'll carry it until my days are through